Bad sign!!!!

yesterday was the worst for this sem!!! first, early in the morning i stepped Boyboy( a dog in my place) urine then i comfirmed sure something bad will happen...then i found out my exam is 20 days away and then i still have lot of things i haven't finish yet...that's not end of the story!!! then i went to my tutorial class and the lecturer passed me my mid term test which I FAILED MY MID TERM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is the first time that i get a shit for my mid term in the pass 3years!!! Dammit!!!

Merry X'mas

Hehe...again another X'mas that i will be alone for it. Since don't know when i started to use to with the feeling that i wont be having fun any x'mas. i try to get myself more competible but yet i still the one who single all the time ( i really hope that i can find someone who i love more than she do) maybe it should be considered as a wish for my X'mas for this year=)

Last two days my group was having a bbq for the first time in the past 3 years!!! how amazing that we all had fun that time and no one is ever left behind...i drank vodka and beer and had some puff which i felt really guilt that i broke my promise... But it was just so happening=) anyway i am not addicted anymore instead for coffee=) hehehe.....hope that we can be able to do it again right after our exam.

high fever='(

saturday night morning felling not so well. thought that maybe the whether change so doesn't really took it seriously, then nite i was like so dead can't even wake up from my bed. the worst is that i had a test this afternoon and i haven't finish studying all!!! can't help with the fever then went for doctor.. He said high fever 39'C and blah blah blah ....take medicine for 4 days if fever not gone then have to do blood test and suspect for denggi.....what the crap!!!!

Starbuck Anniversary Blend
In 1971, we opened the first Starbucks store in Seattle's Pike Place Market, sharing fresh-roasted beans and a passion for a wonderful cup of coffee with our customers.

As we've grown, we've continued to share our passion by carefully blending and roasting intrguing coffees like Satrbucks® Anniversary Blend- a distinctive mix of Asia Pacific and rare aged Indonesian beans, created once a year to celebrate our anniversary.

Smooth with deep spicy flavor notes, this is a big, bold, satisfying blend that seduces our coffee loyalists and salutes our heritage.


For the pictures above, the left hand side is the Chiristmas blends and other the other hand is the Anniversary blend which is kind of bold coffee.

Home

jz heard a song called "Home" from Michael Buble and again i miss home..... it was very hard for me to continue torturing myself with the fact that the girl i like trying to avoid me. I feel ashame to admit it since i couldn't let her get of my mind in this one year time. I tired but my heart died when i try to treat myself like this. A female friends asked : what so special about her? she is not pretty enough, and she is not even got an awesome body shape and what made u so crazy about her!!' she sound very surprise that when she found out i still waiting for that girl....i replied : ya, she is not very pretty than it is good that i after her is not because of her appearance!

But why!! till now i still cant figure out=( i giving up my relationship with a girl that i feel very sorry to her with i really could give her any commitment and the other with she tried to hint me that she got feeling on me but i just turn my back to her just because of the girl that i after( i think should give her a code or nick that easier to understand.......erm.....what JA? i use to call her like this with my friends) Y'day during my lab while i tried to give a break for me to get rid of her for 1 second i went boyroom to wash my face, and i saw her!!!coming out but immediately she saw me then she went in again as in like try to joining her friends...Heart break......

After her for one year already, i didn't actually chat with her personally much. But i found that the most joyful moment is that i chat with her day before her b'day although is just one and the half hour, it really make me feel like the only men in the world or maybe something more than that..Then tried to ask her out for a meal but she refused as she already date with her friends for her birthday. Then i went to the chilis with my housemate as i say treat her as a celebration for her coming b'day, but the reason is that i jz hope that i can get out so that i still have the very very minute chance to meet her somewhere....then end up i spend hundred for a meal and yet i still cant see her. How silly i am='( But i just want to be with her that's is, i don't think i will be a lousy partner till i ignore her feeling and share her everything if she want to. I don't mind her take me for granted, but i know she wont since she don't even want to face me. i am such a useless person which i am so weak of trying to hold someone hand.....

what should i say oh?

recently nothing special, just that i am too busy to write something here=( i got lot of assignment that looks like never end and document that need to be signed. Then this two days my roomate bring his gal back home and stay here, so my area have been restricted for just my table. they watch dvd inside my room , making noise inside that ( actually i m so curious that what they were doing inside....hahahaha) and then ...... lot of things....hehehehe.....which i dont think that i will know since they are behind the door=) lol.....

I found that i went back bp frequently this few weeks which i dont know whether is good or not. I haven't be liked this since i study in secondary school. I can say that i usually wont go home except something urget, but i did it for this few weeks..what's wrong with me??? i wonder...hahajhaha...but is a good sign right since i started to miss my bed and my parent. But when i get home i found that not much friends i have, i stayed home and do nothing beside chatting with my mum. When i went out for my return ticket and salon, i wish to call someone but i just can't recall whoever i can call!!! And i concluded that i had been losing so much friends or in fact they didn't actually thinks that way. I found that only few still keep in touch with me then no one else and those who contact me are those who staying oversea now. How dissappointed i am for being so useless for keeping friend=( What should i do?

WTF

Extremely early in the morning about 3am, i was being scold by a jerk till i woke up by his language! WTF! is he losing his mind of scolding people without any reason! HE LOST HIS PHONE CHARGER!! and how pity he is by losing a charges so he cant chat with his lovely girlfriend around 3am and she had exam paper next morning!!! Is he a nut no!! i can tell that he definitely not a nut, but an ASSHOLE!!!! First i am totally innocent for keeping his charger away and in fact he always throw his charger around my place so usually i will put it back to his place. Do i did anything wrong? and i did even touch his charger for month since i swap handset with my bro so i m using sony ericsson fucker. then by that time he couldn't find his dick, he started to curse by family, me and some sort of like being crash by car blah blah blah.....it was so loud until woke me up and fuck on my face. i told him that i din touch his things for months but he just cant stop shitting with his mouth. Then he went to his sister room and it was in her room!!!! and the moment he get back the charger from that room he knew it was not my false and i m not the person to be blamed....right i did nothing....but he still continue cursing me....wat the fuck men!!! get away from my life and i m so glad that he will be moving soon but before that please return my money asshole....enough for ur shit that u don have money and blah blah blah, i know u jerk giving excuse!!!!

so dead.....

I was so dead today...thought that i will enjoy school after come back from long holiday, but the moment i step to the lecture hall everybody was like rushing toward me for money. Hey!!Give me a break okay!!! here come and say have a bill that cost hundred and then the other one say got that bill cost few hundreds and yet i have to chasing money from other people...then my super stupid jerk roomate haven't pay me back the rental for last month!!!! i am officially broke sooner so if u, jerk, see this please pay me back the money!!!! Dont keep saying you have no money and blah blah blah and yet you still have the money for nonsense. And today is the due date for rental to my landlord and no one pass the their rental to me!!!! Why must i remind you all every months!!!!! are u all nut!!!!!????? i am extremely tired chasing money here and there already....I don't like to begging money everyday. IT IS NOT MY JOB TO DO THAT!!!! you all should know that you need to pass me the rental latest by 7th every month, why must i nagging every months? cant you just save the rental as you know that you must pay instead of keep on staying here, why you all jerks spend every penny u have just for so called 'entertaintment'!!!! To me, all the things u did for denying to pay the rental on time are every selfish and please stop it if you still like the place you are staying now.......I AM VERY TIRED FOR CHASING MONEY EVERYDAY!!!!! Dammit!

my 21th birthday

hehehe......babi guess what i got for my birthday this year=) a piece of card from the girl who rejected me so many times and a FISH!!!!!!!! Muahahahahaha.....i can't believe that i got a fish for my birthday......the first day i brough her/him....i also not too sure is him or her....hahahaha.....my housemates all threaten me that they will cook the fish....how dare they do that to him(maybe) but i promise the one who gave me that i will protect him till i die...hahahahaha.....and i received lot of msg which from those who i really dont know them well or hanging with them all the time...but thanks for them being so sweet to me=) thanks ya.... and i received one call from SHindi....hehehe...chat quite long.Then....end of my 21th birthday='( how sad....no celebration,no party,not even a person who willing to spend dinner with and i ate instant noodle for my birthday dinner!!!! Who will believe this kinda shit happened to me....
so i decided not to celebrate my birthday as in not one will really care about that....how sad.....

Then yesterday really made me felt so uneasy...from the 1st stupid replacement lecture till my jeans gone.......i was teasing by my stupid lecturer in front of the whole damn class sound like....if i were you i will not making a dim sound when i enter the hall if i m late and blah blah blah......she is really a painass in my life!!!Dammit!!! then my jeans which i really love so much was seriously 'hurt' by my roomate who borrowed from me this week and he kinda denied everythings he did.....i was damn pissed of by him! not because the jeans was gone but the kinda attitude that he tried to deny and i really don't mind what happen to my jeans but at least i want to know who did.....but no one does!!!!! and they sound like i did myself and try to blame someone....what f*ck men!!!! it wont be next time for that particular person using my things!!!!!

Again

Yesterday gal messenged me and planning the visit to my house by friday, it was fine with me that she want to visit...well i mean at first....i really hope she can come and i really wanted to talk to her about our relationship which she keep on asking me to think about it carefully. Then when i was sured that it wont be wrong suddenly she came out all sort of funny questions that i really hate to hear and answer!!!But unfortunally she did and not only once she did it to me, if a girl really want to fall into a relationship with you, why must she question over and over!!!! I know you may say that she want to comfirm or sort of feel confident about this and that and blah blah blah.....but she has to realise that in a relationship not just that she will feel neglect or suffer all the time. What about guys?? We also bloody human that have the same things that girls called EMOTION...I had enough with this kind of joke!!!! I really dont like to be fooled around by a girl that just keep on say that she love you and blah blah blah and yet make your life doom. I mad at her last night about what she did and i told her that and she said she knew that and apologized...But for sure i know she will repeat what she did or some kind of unpredictable nonsense to knock you all the way hell. Maybe this friday i will tell her that i dont hope to be like this or maybe i will mercy enough to keep it myself again...who know what i wil do by friday. I dont really seem to be extremely handsome or charming but why she so in love with me which i cant really figure out for long time.....this is insane! she doesn't even know what kind of man i am and what i am thinking!!! I just hope that i will not trouble by this girl anymore either dump her or keep helding her hand...Give me a break okay???

Shit!!

Why everytime when people are happying for something or somebody must have some stupid situation that ruin in the whole thing! I was so desperated for my starting lesson again why must something that i do not wish to know pop up out of sudden!! I am not blaming anyone but hey GOD give me a break and i will have lot of thing to do starting from now....I really don care about what thing that i had been told, but i just cant totally igonore it like nothing happened before...

exam agian='(

what can i say when come to this topic??!! stress? (naa...i don think anyone will be as stress as my roomate which study more than 12 hours everysingle day and yet he claims that i can't finish...BUT HE STARTED HIS STUDY LONG BEFORE THE EXAM!!! Relax? neither me or anyone in my house now relax than my another housemate jianxi which sleep all the from his bed to chang's then to mine!!!! can u believe this!!!! Then study smart.....again not as smart as my girl housemate yijing which finish 3 extremely thick law books within one night and still survive from that..... I will rather consider myself in between these 3 crazy fella....i study just like having a small quiz,....30minutes study always leads me to 2 hours sleep hours....fixing pipe, wash my clothes, making tea& coffee, delivery lunch@ dinner all are the consequences after study....perhaps i should damn myself for being so relax,right?And I STILL CAN'T CONCENTRATE ON MY STUDY!! coming week is my exam already. Applied zoology is the first which need to memorizes most of the farm animals reproductive system, synchronisation...blah blah blah....and it need hardwork to memorise..but i just can't concentrate....

Ok let forget about that......not forever at least a moment,okay? Finally i finish my responsibility for being a tresurer for this semester and actually there was some problems regarding to collection money and the billing things but now settled=) hehehe...hope next sem i can handdle better..Just after my lecture and actually it's quite a boring class which the lecturer always mumble to himself and sometimes it really make me feel that he was speaking alien language!!! oh ya he is a Ph.d in chemistry quite a wise person....Always showed his loyalty to Lord ( that's mean his talk about Jesus all the time) P/S : i am not dicriminate christian but he just over do it. At a result, we still need to come his lecture for the every last week before exam!!! i swear to god that i really worked hard this sem compare to previous but i can't understand alien language!!!! ( please ...if anyone know where have some courses regarding to this type of language, tell me!!! i really wish wish to know him well) Compare to another chemistry lecturer , Dr. Tang is more experienced that Dr. Wong! Altough the first sight i saw him i was like.....shiao he must be very strict on study and god bless me ( in fact he wasn't that bad, he is strict upon ur timetable but he really really put in afford to not just teaching but using some human language which more easier to digest) Tell u one thing about him...he was head of Department of the chemistry and biology, have a godfather look and u are timid type i advise u to take withdrawing form immediately=P hehehe..... God bless i will see him for my next sem....

One things....it occured last night after dinner with my roomate. While waiting people rushing out from the lift we saw three negro female coming out which three of them wrapped themselve with black!!! Okay them we just entered the lift and a guy entered....then my roomate ,chang, suddenly laughing and couldn't really stop himself....i wondered...so i let him cool down bit and waiting....then suddenly he stopped and spoke out "WIB" which is not funny at all.I asked what the hell is that stand for and yet he was able to speaking out Women in Black while laughing.... i did want to laugh on it, but i didn''t..Because there was a male negro stood in front of me and when chang still holding himself for laughing, that extremely black guy was staring at me and i wonder what will he think bout our conversation about (maybe) his lovers...hahahahaha....then when the door opened he was out with us and i saw lot of negro which are extremely gaint standing very near....the first thing i could think of is run as fast as possible and yet chang still holding his stupid stomach for that stupid joke!!!! then he realised that something is not right and we quickly ran to our house. God bless they din chase us out for that stupi stupi joke. So, advise to u, never never make fun or dicriminate those who really cant take the joke and i can say that we were lucky enough that surviving without breaking bones!!!

Touch!!!

After watched the movie called 'Chicken Rice War' about 2 years ago, i still can remember the poem that said by the guy called Fanson in that movie!!! I can forget the line he mention... okay it goes like this.....


Your beauty is beyond the highest hills i can climb.
To touch you is like feeling a ray of light.
I dream of you everyday and throughout the might.
The thought thatyou are near is heavenly sublime,
but i know reaching you is an impossible dream.
How can an angel possibly see beyond her light?

Blah Blah Blah...testing 1 2 3

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Have a look='(

Executive Comettees of Society of Chemistry and Biology

President :Kuan Yong Jian

Vice President :Vincent

Secretary :Hue Hue

Tresurer :Felicia Ng

Auditor :Tang Sue Hua

Male Representative :Soon Yang Chong

Female Representative :Chan Yen Wen

See??? I am so glad that being elected by the course for being the president of this society.........at first ....but it means i have to take the resposibility for one year to take good care of this society and organise at least one activity such as trip to somewhere else that will need lot of meeting and paperwork to get the college sign the damn permission to keep this society alive...i still wonder now whether i can make it or not=) hehehe....and don't call me Mr.President, okay! It sound so weird!!!

Damned Stupid Indonesian Who Start This Haze

I can't stop myself from damning the stupid Indonesian (referred to those started open burning things)!!!!! and because of them i also can't stop myself from coughing since last night till now. I had enough of this haze since i was born in Johor!!!! They had been repeated over and over this stupid activities and yet the Indonesia' Environment Minister kept promised this problems will reduce, it still happen!!!! And it is happening right here right now where i stay!!!! And now i am feeling extremely not right like chaining for 2 packs of cigarettes!!!! What the heck they doing up there right in Indonesia now????? Burning their smartass there???? Bloody hell,why can't they just realize that they are doing nothing than causing trouble. I can't help myself to curse them by making me cough and sooner or later i got to go for doctor!
Once again curse them burn by the fire they made as a retribution for being such a smartass!

Hehe...here still got more pictures and i have a lot!!But due to the stupid streamys, the connection is far too slow to upload at one time=(

Convocation

Since there is nothing special besides having my convocation last week here are some of the pictures i took with friends....


and more......

Selfishness

Having chemistry practical today and i realized that some of my group members can be that selfished!!! Start from this Wednesday, one of my group member which i don't really have a good impression since the very first moment i met him, we supposed to do centrifugation and the instrument supposingly is one for each group, then the fella just came to my table and simply took away my apparatus without asking and by that time i was looking at him!!!! and what pissed me is that he glared at me for a short while then took away a "lan si" face....Damn him!!!! If he is not my friend's boyfriend, i will nail him behind that lab and shoot him off. Because of him, my group finished the experiment late..and i have to apologize to my friends....If i shoot him off that time then you all no need to wait that long. While today's experiment supposed i can come home earlier, but the lovely couple really share the same bitchy behavour that put them together...what's that....SELFISH!!!!! They just concern about themselve and never bother about queueing. Everybody doing the same experiment and waithing for the same instrument, why must they jump queue and don't even realise that they are extremely rude to those whose are queueing. As a conclusion i can puzzle up why they are couple! Bless them won't be so selfish towards each other.

Freak me out again and again

I curse the streamyx being so uneffectiveness and useless!!!!!Dammit for such a lousy company that cant even provide a service as they promised!!!! They told us that our area is not yet covered with the streamyx service and why at the first place they approched our application? And why the neighbour 2 doors away have their streamyx for 2years!!!!! Being such a major telecommuniction company in Malaysia, why just can they provide such a simple service???And need us to call everyday?? And the advertisement that show the word "PROMISING" is just for fun??Dammit again for employed a bunch of operators that cant even speak in english and showed us such a bad manner!!!! One of the operators that told us that we shouldn't apply the streamyx since my area is not cover by them...ok fine,but that is after my activation of my streamyx account and when i told him that 2doors away have streamyx for 2 years then that stupid malay guy said "Kalau macam itu lucky lah mereka"(very irritating tone).....Can you believe this!!!! What kind of operators they are? How can they react like this? While,other operators tried hard to run away from their responsibility for this. Transferring us from one department to another,such as the activation department said we should call the technician department in the first place to confirm the line and all the cables things are getting done.Then fine we called and the technician department told us that we are still within 14days warranty of the activation department and we should call back to the department!!!! Fuck them!!!! Then where the heck should i called to get their ass from their chair and get the things done???? Is this the PROMISING that said the streamyx will be done within one week time??? Where should i call? What should i do? Why dont they just reject our application at the first place since my area do not have the coverage????????? WHY?????? Assholes!!!They are good for nothing except being parasites!!!!!!

Wasting time=)

As in a advanced year student, i should hardwork than before.but recently i found that most of my time spend for nothing and i couldn't finish my homework and report earlier (hehe,my record was 5 report didn't handup on time and begged for delay from the lecturers, luckily they still let go me) So,i need to be more organized!! Anyway,I wasted lot of time in nothing. So i should make a change for my lifestyle so that i will not GOOD FOR NOTHING =)

Well, beside that i really very freak out with the TM NET company and sickening for their service hotline!!!I had been calling that line about an hour for each day continueously 2weeks!!! And end up i still can use my streamyx. What the heck they are doing up there?? Waste my money and the bill is started running from 5July now!!! And what more that they are having such lousy operators that don't even know what the manner should they hold as in talk to customer!!

Another thing is that i had been going back hometown for 3 weekends. Can you believe that? I mean as in people who know me that I seldom go back that frequent...wasting the time travelling in bus and do nothing...Shit men and i swear to myself not for next week again since i haven't study for my midterm test!!!

Hehehe.....conclusion I am not good for nothing!!!!! At least i know the way of wasting time =P

P/S.....What kind of dude I am=)

Confusing and Busy='(

Sorry for neglecting my blog so long and sori to jo that i couldn't update my blog on time. I had been struggling for 5weeks for my new semester ,thought, but i still can't adapt with this chages and lot of confusion now.Wonder what we did last time is the greatest in my life...And i REALLY disappoint with some of my so called "friends" nowadays ( i know what u are think now Joanne but it's not him) I can't really figure out what will happen next and i just wish that the god and those "friends" mercy enough to let go me. And i found that no one in world will hold u when you are falling down ( definitely not u shindi!!) they just make use of you when u got something that they don't have. So whatever happen to them i won't feel sad and they are own their own. But i really cherish my buddy and bless them always by the side of god....

Why is me=''''(

Being a nice student, quietly place my ass on the front seat and i was so innocent. Suddenly my new course representative with is also my friend went in front of the lecture hall and start the election of the new treasurer for the next 2 year. Due to my sixthsense, i knew that she will definately call my name so i just pretend busy and lower down my head and hope that she won't see me or though that i was not around.Then a long pause.........no one was giving piece of sound. Suddenly i heard of my name had been called out and someone start asking whether yong jian is in the hall or not.Dammit...i was called by my course rep!!! Then with no one to bother this post so I am the damn tresurer now='( Now I only realise that the feeling being sobotage by friend='(

For the same day,I was damn pissed off with myself that i used 3hours for chemistry experiment and turn up i can't even get a right reading in fact there is a lot of result that i should record!!! I can't blame much since i had the responsible. But what i done that day i am damn sure that no error occur and why will this happen to us all the time???? By end of the class, i found out that the most simple part which also the most important part had been prepared with the wrong ratio that not suppose be done! And this sample ruined my whole experiment !By now i realised that communication for a team is very important. I just hope that we can do better next time and be more alert. AND I miss those partner last time in diploma year!!!!

New life for advance year!

After struggling for two year, finally i had made through it and completing my diploma=) Well.. honestly I played a lot in this two year time and i didn't really put my effort in my study. Playing was the priority for me in order to motivate myself for study and I don’t really appreciate my time being a college student. Although I didn’t skip classes often, most of the time I was dreaming and wandering what am I supposed to be or why I can’t get what I want. What a stupid teenage in the age of 20!!!!

Thankfully, by the help of God I am able to finish my diploma. By the way I am in the age of 21… Now I can be considered as an adult already and I really hope to be a real man!!! But…if the definition is based on the size of the body, still get long way to go…hahahaha… An adult shouldn’t skip classes anymore and be more responsible, right=) what if I skip the first day of my advance year??!!! Hahaha…I really mean what I said!!!!!yo…I will do that due to my driving test! ( what a shame that a guy take his driving license by 21) hahaha….not more limo for me already=’(

This holiday I picked up a hobbit by playing snooker=) and due to the mentality of Malaysian that snooker is smoker had be set in my parent’s mind, turned up I only started my lesson by 20!!!! Can you believe this!!!!! Anyway, I already mastered a bit the skill of snooker. Hehe.. an advice for those who want to learn snooker!!! Stop thinking that, it’s a very expensive activity=)

Companionship

Why should people need companion for their life?Loneliness really can kill someone?I used to my freedom now while i thirst for a relationship that can keep me back to ground. A girl told me that I should think about this carefully before I hurt someone again. I scare to fall in a relationship! I don't know why, jz very scare='( Maybe is kind of intrinsic self protection keep me from fall in love with girl...Anyway i should clearify that i am definately real guy!!I don't have problem with girl,okey =P hahaha....I really don't have any idea what should i go for next.

Companionship can be defined as living or travelling with another. While I prefer the meaning travelling than living togather with another.Why am i said so?Life is kind of journey, we need to go further through every stages. While the word 'living' is like staying on a particular stage that mean that they don't want to move on! That defination definately is off from my list! With no financial basic to promise other's life, i can't give any reason for her to stay with me on that stage.This is not fair for her and me!Travelling more suit me for now since i am now on the way searching for the meaning of life, travel from one stage to another learning from a to z..That make me feel more comfortable than giving promises stop on a particular stage.

Besides that, i really can't figure out what is the priority for me now. I afraid that i can't give her a whealthy life cause is hard to promise. But i really scare in a relationship, can't even tell why. Maybe my life should fill with loneliness than happiness since lonely can make someone be stronger and stronger. What should i do? Maybe the final solution is to be a damn stupid lonely old man in the end.....What do u think?

Complicity of Human Nature

I saw these lines when I reached home from work and I found it is quite solid from what the writer said. The writer is my housemate who is a legal student. Yi Jing is her name and she had no idea while I was typing this. Quite agree with her view that we are all either performer or audience. So here are the lines of human’s life….

Complicity of Human Nature

I would say that one of the wow-est creations of god is our brain, besides human as a whole. There are billion of tiny little neurons in the brain that help us to think. The information receive through other external organs was being sent through some awesome liquid in the brain called M-something. It must be noted that the data was being communicated through this liquid, the neurons itself never touch each other to get the information. If they happened to be bumped together, you are going to be insane. Thus, basically brain is the faculty of thinking. That is to say it is the master of the human body and behavior.

As interesting as the neurons, human try to master over the institute of thoughts. Though brain is the master of all, it often comes to a decision with the assistant of heart. If we say that brain is a very subjective faculty, then I would say that heart is a very emotional thing. However, let’s look at their actual God-given function, i.e:-

Brain - to think, but not to function nor pro-long the other faculties.
Heart - not to think, but to support other body part as a whole.

That is to say, once the heart stop pumping, the brain stops to think. Does this statement overturn the rule that brain is the master of the mind? It ought to be so, I supposed. That’s why there come a term called “soft-hearted”. Once the heart ‘felt’ it, if signals the brain to think the other way round. Or perhaps, if brain is the YDPA, heart would be the PM.

Having said so, it is obvious that human nature as a whole is as complicated as the neurons, and arteries. Maybe if was caused by these funny things, we should be in part with them. There were times where we do things that are contrary to other thoughts. Implying that the heart and the brain do not co-operate.

One might be doing something (eg. bought a ticket to watch opera), but he never ever meant to do so (eg. he don’t actually wants to watch opera). However, he says that he loves the thing as a whole (eg. he likes the opera setting and maybe the songs or sound system). And at the end of the day he tried to do it but yet he isn’t so into it (eg. tried to sit in the theatre throughout the show but he still don’t like opera).

Pointing at the above example given, isn’t it confusing? Why would somebody do that to make their own life miserable? If from the very beginning, he bought the ticket himself without any duress or threat by others, is he trying to watch opera or he wanted to watch opera? The only explanation should be that he wanted to watch opera, but that particular performance was not what he is expecting. He might keep watching opera, but he may be still waiting for a good performance.

The performers are the great pretenders. Spiced up others day while have to bury their own sorrows. However, they are not a bunch of loser, having able to look at life as a play, they becomes the winner. A chapter begins, its mostly introductory. Followed by chapters which is filled with laughter and tears. Chapter ends, this is when you may judge whether it is a good play or not. I would be a performer in my life. I played the role as a girl, daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, wife etc.. I can play it all well. Because I am a good pretender, who can be absorbed to every role given to me. So whatever the ending is, I would deserve the cheers from my audiences. Then I begin another play.

The saddest person is the audience, especially those who tried to watch the opera but was reluctant to feel the story. Well, perhaps they did not choose the suitable play. Perhaps… Or the people who loves opera, but was unable to afford the ticket? So they work hard try to save enough for the ticket, yet the think they don’t like the play, or the actually don’t like opera at all? As complicated as it is, there is no explanation, but only more questions.

if given a chance, will you wanted to be the audience who was not sure of his taste of play or the performer who are the pretender but happy and know his part well? I would choose the latter, because my play is a play itself. And God will be the director.

Complicated as a script that is written by Him, I would only read it as it is. I will only feel the words when I am performing. That is the duty given. That is the reason I am here. That is the reason I am the survivor, and so I am the winner and best performer.

Is that money so important?

i wander long time ago since i was in form 4....Is that really money is everything for human? We are kinda sick for this thing since thousands years ago.Why people concern about those figures so badly?There is still a lot of things beyond that evil!!!

Last week my mom and sister told me that my brother broke with his girl. i kinda of wander why these two people travel so far already, can't they just pass through this....Is the matter of MONEY again='( how sad is it...Because they girl is came from a well background then she will feel more secure if my brother married her with bunch of money???Is that true?? Is that called love?? I believe in my brother that he won't let his women to suffer or even hurt a bit though he can't let the girl spend crazy as hell...years of relationship can't even fight with those presures from girl's house???

I cursed them for being so money minded and wish they suffer from what they desperately search for!!!Damn it!!

Hopefully my brother will be fine at this moment and this can be turned to a positive motivator for him.

Working

What is the life after exam?i found myself a part time jod!! It is hard to believe that i will work for my holiday,cause most of the time during my holiday i jz stay home and did nothing.I am working as a crew of Biore Roadshow now and found it quite fun there.I had ran from college to college like KDU, APIIT,KBU,Taylor's.....next week i will be going to Monash and Sunway College and the CEO of the Biore will be there also for that roadshow. I made lot of friends there and earning lot=) One thing that i found it quite funny is that my event manager jz have two week exprience then the boss ask her to handle all the road show without leading her.I found very pity for my manager that scold by that useless boss for nothing.The boss just know how to shit and didn't know how excatly to run a real roadshow. I wonder why such a stupid ass hole can be so lucky to have a company while people who really work hard can't find themselve to success. He is luckily that he have those partner that earn money for him every months and he should thanks what he have now plus stop shit on someone when he have no idea at all about what is happening. I heard from my assistant manager that the stupid ass hole always hold the pay for those crews for months. Hopefully i can get my pay soon and i can forget about the ass hole soon.Just another 5 more days, i wil be free=)

Farewell

I finished my last exam for my diploma!!!But it also mean that some of my friends will left='( Wei Lun and JoAnNe....bye...this could be the last second we gather around.. anyway you all still are my friends!!!!

The moment i stepped out from the exam hall i felt like i am beyond the sky and feel damn good!But jz after a while i was thinking about Wei Lun and Jo. My advance year will be a dump without them. Then without thinking too much we as in a gang, me ,WeiLun, Joanne, MingKit, Trixie and Siang Yee went for fun!We went to S.Yee's boy boy house, and the houses there is extemely huge!i cant stop wonder how can ppl earn such a lot money like tat...is tat one car not enough for them or 5cars look nice a bit? When can i earn tat amount of money? but i dun think is a priority for me at this state, men shouldn't jz physically feeded!Without filling the spirit will lead to a life like animal or worst a zombie.

After wondering some much, we went to 1 utama for dinner...The restraurant is a Italian style but i cant tell the name already. We place ourselves into a very private bulgany. Jz a table for 7 of us and no one could interupt us by that time. Having a great food and topic, we killed bout one and the half hour there..after that pool came next between me and wei lun....I won the game!! Sori about that Wei Lun=P then we went ss2 for dessert!!! i ended our gathering there but it is before we stick there for about 3 hours...Is a taboo to break that 3 hours.I don't know whether they realize or not, our date or gathering wont go exceed 3 and i think that is already an acheivement for us.

Lastly all the best for Wei Lun and Joanne.Hope that they are doing well all the time and they will not be forgotten...Bye FrenZ.....and Buddies!!

What is the purpose of life?????

What is the purpose of life???

Two semester ago i was starting to be deal with the word alone. From that moment i start to wonder what should i do after by then to kill my time and all the crap. Staying outside from home is not a easy task. Without a companion it makes you feel more terrible. Then i start wondering why i am here and what should i do or should someone give me some hints. By that time i try to search for answer for my life, i try to think a lot, see a lot , ask a lot.......Why do i have to do some??? Just for a simple answer that what is the purpose of life!!

It is a shame to tell that i still can't find my answer up to this moment while i am 21='( At the very first moment i was wonder that maybe i was feed no enough love and care. When friends become your enemy, start to betray you and leaving you- You are standing alone!!! So i stop the one i was before and start a brand new me...Of cause lot of friends in my old time dislike this changes...

What do i care now is why i am here....can someone give me a hint???