recent life

actually i can catogorise myself as lifeless group now, i try to plan sometime to learn for my particular interest-shooting- but this stupid lab i m working now keep me working till 8 pm or even later only i can pack my thing back...and guess wat the pay i jz get is lesser than wat i expected although my pay already very low....shit tat stupid asshole...need me finish all the job by end of the day but stingy to give OT when my OT is 500 bucks this month then they change me working time...ask me enter 1030 instead of 830 so tat i will only get my OT after 7 30...wtf...then workload still the same....fuck...so since tat day whenever there a peak season then i will work after9pm....stupid rite...today i get my pay cheaque d...is fucking fucking less...and i m the 1st get the pay among new stuff..and my collegue can even believe that our pay is so low...even a slave is better than us....her face totally stunned when saw the amout on that cheaque...suppose scientist will get a better pay rite, we are so called PROFESIONAL group rite...why our pay is so little? u may wonder how little is it rite...believe me is extremely low but i wont tell..say an amout and it may less than that...but working life keep me busy keep me away from missing a gal...a gal i love so much...away from all the thing she did to me and the cut she left me....i start to learn how to protect myself from a gal...start learning how to get used to life after work,eat alone, movie alone, shopping alone....i learn hard and hope i can used to life alone...i will try to earn as much as i can, learn to forget her since she left me no hope in patching back again...i really feel pity with ending our relationship like this, cz i love her so much but wat can i do!! Just forget her and trust no gal...treat myself good will be enough!! love myself men...and one more thing!!! I am quiting from smoking now, stop drinking oso....i stop addicted to coffee and wine now...sober lot...