End of 2006

it's end od 2006 which me i going to work soon! even though i am planning with my master degree but i do not have a solid proposal yet for that.. I hate walking around in college nowadays since everybody start talking about what type of job they prefer and the pay and blah blah blah...life doesn't have to be like that...i don't agree with some of the people keep on talking about we shouldn't study anymore since it make your life shorter and more suffer....get away from me!!! i wish i manage to continue with my post study. I don't really prepare for a sale job for chemical or so... Besides that i found that recently i was being aggresive towards things around me... i really felt miserable at this stage and hopefully i take a short vocation....run away from kl for a short while will help a lot....so if u guys got any plan pls inform me!!!

Sorry

Recently i found out tat i was removed from my ex friendster list....kinda can understand how she feel towards me....i admit i am a shit and i let her down broke her heart. I hardly could understand how much she suffered the moment we are together. I kinda dropped her a word that i don't really want to in a relationship and then give up such a good girl that i still believe that she is!!! I am such a damn stupid moron that let her ever passed me by and without hold her back..I don't understand why i can did this to such a good girl!!!! i broke her heart and the moment she needed me and i really such a scum that turn my head away that time!!!! What's wrong with me????? i knew she loved me most that time and she can even give up her dream and everything just for me but i don even know how appreciate such a good girl....what the heck was i doing.....after broke up we still contact once awhile but getting lesser and lesser...till i forget her....and now i fight with my present girl friend and one friend make a comparison....now i can barely understand how she felt last time and she did really love me and i really such a dumb tat less her down!!!! then compare again my ex really treat me like god....she willing to did everything for me without even i asked.....but the present i got to do everything to her even she din ask.....i kinda tired of this.....i was wrong and i am extremely wrong now oso.....a relationship comes in two ways but seen like i din appreciate last time and i don have to chance to appreciate now. Is very important that u love someone and oso is very important that someone fall in the way u do. I missed the chance and i got to pay back...I wish my ex will find a better one...far much more better than me. I let her down and i wish i can make sth to pay back, but i really don know how to face her again....sorry sing ni...i let such a nice girl passed by my life like that and i really sorry hurt u so much...

sOrRy

Sorry dear that i made u felt uneasy just now and i didn't mean to hurt u with those words..I told u all this is because i hope to solve the problem not tat i wan a fight for no reason...I just don't hope that we are not happy because of trying to solve this. You know i care a lot about you..Please tell me what u feel instead of i always tell u what i want then you do what i want. You just keep all the things youself and i would love to share with you!!! Just open your heart then u can see the difference! Things will get better than you can imagine!! Love you dear...

Getting Tired of each other?!

Back to few months ago my friends, couple A, seem to be quite lovely and i really envy them for keeping their relationship so well. I wonder will i be lucky enough to have such a relationship with the girl i like.. Undoubtable they made me motivated into a relationship..they both are nice to me to themselve and to others.. But recently i found out that girl start to ignore guy and all the friends around girl start to give a strange face when guy approach to be near. I observed girl's express....she is mad .....that's what i can tell. For me if a girl still mad with u then i think the guy still have chance to do something for this relationship.. but some source told me that guy hardly can get the girl back... What a waste such a lovely couple need to end up like this. For me, i hate this happen.... at least not me not friends not any couple that should end up like this...i wish they can compromise to each other or at least still friend. They are nice folks! I like them and i wish they can get through this as soon as possible! Personally I wish this will never never never happen between me and my lovely gf=) I already didn't see her for 2days... Miss her so much!!!!

Jay's new song super nice!!!! especially 听妈妈的话 !!!

Happiness

although i am extremely busy with my study now, but i can sense a greatful happiness surrounding and keep me going further!!! Sound crazy but is true. I am learning hard to be a caring person instead of being care。

In Love?!

Recently i fall in a relationship with a girl which i love her so much that i can spend myself just for her....But this morning when i woke up, i started wondering...Why i need a relationship? Why i willing to give up i had built up so long? Why i just can't help myself to stop thinking of her? Here she come...she give me an answers...cause i like her so much and i truely fall in love with her. She gave me "NO"ssss since 2 years ago and out of sudden,me and her are falling in love...Kinda strange for me initially. I prayed hard everyday since 2 years ago that she will be mercy enough to accept me but i was wrong...then come to the stage that i nearly give up, miracle appear and God told me 'chance is coming for u son'......mind suddenly blank........speechless........happy but in the same time i was afraid that this is just a dream...a dream that the God mercy enough for me after 2 years...then she told me i am not dreaming!!!then i scared......i scared i couldn't maintain this relationship and lot and lot.....i kinda lost!!! She control every single nerve in my body...sound unbelievable but it's true...and what i can say is that i just truely fall in love with her....

Unbelievable

Unbelievable -Craig David

Always said I would know where to find love,
Always thought I'd be ready and strong enough,
But some times I just felt I could give up.
But you came and changed my whole world now,
I'm somewhere I've never been before.
Now I see, what love means.

It's so unbelievable,
And I don't want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.
And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love,
Somewhere I'd never thought I'd be.

In my heart, in my head, it's so clear now,
Hold my hand you've got nothing to fear now,
I was lost and you've rescued me some how-.
I'm alive, I'm in love you complete me,
And I've never been here before.
Now I see, what love means.

When I think of what I have,
and this chance I nearly lost,
I cant help but break down, and cry.
Ohh yeah, break down and cry.

Now I see, what love means

哭

再次又感到莫名的谜茫，生活又好像漂浮着在无名大海。开学至今好像生活充满无数的起伏，生活五味参差好不快活。但回想起又觉得所谓的忙也只是一些鸡皮蒜毛的小事而已。始终，我还是有着我内心不想让人看到的一面。谁说男人就因顶天立地有泪不轻流，男人也是人 也有着软弱一面。所以不哭不代表着真男人，反而让我觉得虚伪因为他们都隐藏了他们最真的一面!说了那么多还是想好好地上一场。。。

"When the truth is ugly, people try to keep it hidden, because they know if revealed, the damage it will do. So they conceal it within sturdy walls or they place it behind closed doors or they obscure it with clever disguises but truth, no matter how ugly, always emerges. And someone we care about always ends up getting hurt. And someone else will revel in their pain and that's the ugliest truth of all.

desperate housewives

Poor Junior

This morning i was asked to invigilate junior's mid term test and was the second time i did that. A guy was found reading note inside that hall though he passed up the answer script but as a rule he cant leave when 30 minutes remain...then i went up and told him not to read the material while his friends still having exam, and i think i was polite enough to him as a senior. But the fucker threw the notes on the table and other invigilator told me that he scolded me with 3 letter words..WTF....Then he was called out after exam by lecturer....the way my lecturer did was really amazed me that he did even speak a single word...where the fucker already tell the whole sence and yet still think that he did nothing wrong talking and flicking notes inside the exam hall while the exam still on!!!! and he cried to prove his "innocence" but in fact he already admit what he did after all....What a coward guy!!! Silly...silly...silly....

My oh my!!!

Can u believe this!!!! This was the sence of the final year seminar of my course and 3 out of 5 groups are involved in this. Yet it so happened that only a few student came for the presentation by their own friends. Inside that picture is the poor YenChing that presenting.....and 4 lecturers in front that stare at her=) hehehe the other two heads were from group 2. Besides that, i only saw less than 10 ppl came out of 72 for 3groups . What the hell!!! and for those who are regularly absence themselve, ACTION will be taken and u already made those lecturers gone mad!!!!! hahahaha....good luck for u all ya

Terrible feeling strike!!!!

I am feeling damn bad now and i wish i can take a long vocation!!! just shifted met with some unconsiderate housemates, spent a lot for the room deposit and lot of thing come into one shot!! I am extremely tired and i wish i can be home for a long time and i don really want to mess with ppl here and just pretend that i am the best and i know everything and being stupid. The new house is much more better than b4, mean its condition but the housemate really donno how to be a considerate person... izzit speaker must be fully turn and the bass must strike the whole block only they will feel happy and song that remix and remix till it cant catogorise in any type of the music. i already mess my account with lot of things and now i am a total negative person....i used to be broke in the previous home there but still can afford for a nice meal and still positive my account. now i own a debt and which need a long time to pay back provided everything goes well for the coming months but this is my assumption and i doubt whether i can make it or not. some more there is a virus appear in my pc!!! the thing come out will the file name called "baca bro!!!" and i really fuck out with that since i cant even open my antivirus program!!! and thanks to a girl that pass me her pendrive for assignment, i forgive her for the very delay summition of the assignment as we agreed b4 and 'thanks' her very much for sending me that stupid fucking virus to my pc and now all my final year assignment is inside that harddisc and bless me that i will be able to fix it by today....damn it.....

Shifted=)

Changes seem to be very uncomfortable for me and the moment i shift to another house i started thinking the nice things being stay with my ex-housemate. although we did have some arguement and fight but is ok with us. They are mature, passion and full of energy. While today is the fifth week i shifted to this new place, the only thing i can sense is that housemate here are children, crappy in the sense that the way the talk...is totally unacceptable!!! Dunno start from when i cant actually talk with kids!! The way they think is totally the other way from me and my roomate. a naive face that try her very hard to break the speak by turning the volume and bass to the full end and they feel that this is cool! WTC....our thinking is totally different and i dont really know how long i can stand their childishness.... and their english sound very crappy and yet they are trying to mimic 'ang mo' that cant really talk in mandarine and always add 'yo', 'cool' and 'men' before they start a sentance!!!! and the most uneasy thing for me is that, they say they donno how to address me like the way my friends did as in "yong jian"!!!!! can u believe it!!!!! chinese school educated and yet try to pretend english as their mother tongue!!! hey, my name is yong jian and don called me something else that i really cant stand for!!! okok...u may say i am way to over reacted but give me a break ok!! i struggle hard for this whole week and i still lot of things to finish... and izzit final year must be 'awarded' so many assignment and project?

Sorry...again.... i wish i can finish all the assignment soon so that i can start my revision, 7th week coming soon so i couldn't stand continuously like this under so much of crappy pressure and stupid assignment as in i called the "ASS".

Extremely busy!!!

i am looking for room now with my fren and plan to move out from the place i stay now!!!i cant live there anymore since i feel like taking granded by my housemate.and i still doing my project, all the things seem like very unreasonable for me this few weeks. luckily i still get my result for that project=) but i still have seminar need to summit and the due date is next week.i cant fool around anymore but i cant just neglect my blog just like this, i already didn't post any entry for months and i don wan to be deleted by kah=) and i still have my assignment for the study....shit wat the crap am i doing now!!!!????

Huh...tour to Melacca?!

it's kinda wierd that i visit here without any planning as i was before. When i woke up yesterday morning, a movie came to my mind and a moviemate was needed ,at least for me. Then time to call up someone who is free, and list go like this

1. V Hann -not free.. on the way to kl
2. Seng Leong - not free... since exam is coming soon
3. Yong Keng-in Melacca since exam coming either.......

then fine!!make up my mind...go alone but suddenly Yong Keng told me that Chang went hospital 2 days before. What happened? something like swelling in some parts of his body...then rushing melacca came to mind and there will be great as in a sweet roomate try to be nice=) Fine dressed up immediately and told mom not going to have lunch home today. Bus come as alternative choose since i don have car that moment, hate to drive and don't actually know where the hell is melacca if driving alone=) then the one day trip started (thought it was) then got ticket and moving....

On the way, start calling for help and hoped desperately that someone will take me to that hospital. Unfortunately, no one did free by that time....hehehe...fine and advanture start=) finally i made my way there with an empty stomach and remember that i haven't took anything besides a little bit of carrot cake. Called Tiong for lunch by 30 minutes passed 3pm...then great meal in Sushi King and took me rm20 (quite satisfied with that) and then time to visit=) it was 5pm by then so most likely i couldn't make my way back johor.

Calling.......

Me : hello mom, i afraid that i couldn't get home by today since i reached melacca quite late...........blah blah blah.........

Mom: ok....but got any place for you to hang out the whole nite?

Me : sure (the only plan i got is just to stay in hospital....hehehehe). Probably my other friend have a king size for a nite (lying).

Mom: ok but don't hang out middle of nite.

Me: ok....and remember to keep some of the stuff u cooked for me( hehehe....a way to make my mom happy always).

Then besides visiting Chang, i also show my present to uncle opposite Chang's bed=) hehehe...gossip with stranger as usual....

time passed.....friends come and go.....

night time!!! sneak out for football match with Chang...is FA final....till 1am and fetch him back hospital then i come to seniors house for a bed=) Chang went with the needle still on his hand and 4 holes after surgery=) hahahaha.....what the crap am i doing here!

sigh...thing get stolen...BUT is not mine=)

Yesterday when i was about to finish my experiment in the lab in d204, chin seng ran to me told me that someone broke in my lecturer's room and took away all the cash and bag....hehehe...and guess what?! the thief broke in the room and open two locks without even break it and then after his excellent job he still managed to lock back all the things and get away easily!!! By the time i went back home then i saw some cops there!!! WTF!!! hehehe....my lecturer found back her bag and belonging which....hehehe.....the thief place it so nicely inside a toilet bowl few block away=) hehehe.....i wonder there must be some urine on that poor bag=P muakahahahaha......

erm....anyway i am sooooo sorry for my lecturer that i making fun of her unfortune=) hehehe...but i really admired the guy that broke in without a trace and then still able to lock all the drawer and door nicely before he left!!!! But damn him for being such stupid that did such job in tarc that people around here isn't rich enough to buy him a meal=)

Again feel miserable....Last night went out with Wei Lun dinner suddenly remind me that i haven't been dine with anybody in this pass whole month when i was in KL!! Really damn fuck men!! I couldn't stop myself for been such a loser that i can't even find a dinnermate. Perhaps i might already get used to dinner alone. And I picked up cooking but look so crappy! Anyway i did enjoy BBQ passed two days, it was so fun that few buddies gather around and having such a nice food from Jiven's mom=) ya ya, I know is quite stupid complaining here which the previous post i did wrote something about a blog i read.....But I am not crying for companionship and all that i talked about before! I just want enjoyable dinner, which means i want Fucking Nice Food!!! No more fucking instant noodles............

Childish piece of mind

This week had been read some blogs that i would never done so before. Saw lots of minds that came across with other and felt that i might be the luckiest one on this planet that able to chase what i wanted although it might be hard for me to do so sometimes but i did enjoy of what i was doing. One of the blog i read goes like complaining everyone of not treating her well, being neglected and blah blah blah that she wasn't the luckiest one and everybody turn their back to her. At first felt quite pity for her that she got a pretty face and a boyfriend that love her (erm....which i guess) but she didn't seem like appreciate on what being treated to her. The lastest post she got is like telling people that her friends having a birthday party for her is just like formality of what a human being must do on someone's birthday. What the crap!! I had been go through 21 birthdays in the hell of this world and never have a birhtday cake with me on the damn stupid 24 oct, and since she had it with friends up there and what the hell that she complaining about!!! It seem so childish to me that someone always complaining friends don't care about them and cry for it all the time! Friend doesn't mean that they have to overlap your life always and they got thier things to worry about too!! So don't put your ass to your friend all the time! Grow up girl and be considerate!

Cow BOy in the lab=)

haha...see what i did yesterday!!! hehe....like cow boy or not? Here goes with some of my pictures of i am currently doing now. Everyday more or less the same in lab and besides that most of the time i plan what i will be going to eat for lunch.....hahahahaha......

FuCK!!!

To all my dear blogmate

Whoever read this blog,can u all leave ur address of ur blog pls...Something wrong with my blog all the links gone.....*sob*.....

THanKs a lot

Yongjian

Tired.....

Had been doing my project for about 6 weeks already but feel very tired and a bit miserable. Had been 2 weeks i didn't actually see any progression there besides of washing, making stock and done nothing. Got to be moved today!!!!

I want to change my layout of this blog=) anyone got idea how to make it nicer and easy to maintain?

Bravo!! i broke the sink in lab today!!!

Dammit, i broke the stupid sink in lab today!!! The moment the sink start to sound the calculator start to court too...i wonder how much it cost and finally calculator stopped!!! time to decide....erm....what about 120 in ringgit? oh ya, it's fine with me at this rate..how much i love u god for lighten up my day...

Then ,time to inform my supervisor...he sat in his office and kinda six sensed that i did something really 'nice'. Then came across....time to inform the lab assistant, and he said never mind carry on with my job there 1st which i highlight this word 'FRIST' and he said again that they will meet up and see how. Afterthat he told that that damn stupid sink probably cost few hundreds.....Babi.....then another senior lab assistant came in (Mr. Goodguy). don worry everything will be fine and he will just inform maintance fella to fix it.....words from him make me felt better now.

Guess what i did next!!!!! Writing this stupid blog and spear out to whoever read my blog which they can laugh at me like shit=) babi!!!!!

Baceteria infected!!!

Shit!!! yesterday kena infected by E.coli and shit like hell....

Start project already=)

Now i got the reason come back to school everyday just to do my final year project which involve in culture viruses=) which for me is very cool to handle these things! but before that i gone through a very very long process with i have to autoclave all the apperatus which i will use it for my whole project and i gotta wash them for week. And guess what?! hahaahaha....i already finish all the preparation for the experiments just need to get natural sources then i can start it soon and finish i soon( provided no serious mistake occur)...and geuss what!!! i gonna use my viruses that isolated to infection my friends bacteria to see how strong it is...hahahahahahaha.....in the end only my viruses will survive.....muakahahahahaahhahaha..........

Coffee Passport

BoyBoy

This was the first look of boyboy months ago when he came to our house .............
But.....these are the pictures that currently he is (my housemate suspect he got ticks around his body so cut the fur off!!!!) So here he is..........muakhaahahahahaahahahaha.........lol............

What should i do?

Nightmare finally come!!!!is 3 months holiday which means that i wont be able to see everyone in school!!! although i will be going campus starting from next week but there wont be anyone there except those whose are carry one there finally project like me. I miss YenHoong now and friends.... tommorrow is valentine day but for sure i wont be buying roses or chocalates since i m still single...hehehe...should really pround of it? I just hope that i can fill my 3months time for somethings and for somebody.....

Exam!!!

Finally it comes to me this Saturday! Everyday study just for that freaking exam to come hehehe....so nothing much to post here and just wish me good luck ya=)

This worst things again happen to me='(

I admit that i am way too much of telling this kind of things at this moment. i screwed up myself for waiting a girl for more than one year, is kinda sad for me not because i couldn't get her as a girlfriend but is the matter of the things i had been done in this pass one year she just can't see anyone of them. She really means a lot to me! A questions from her that why i still keep waiting for her so long and is that anything so special about her. I just couldn't give her proper answer that why and why. I just into her so much and i couldn't control, i think she will avoid me for sometime for me to "calm down" starting from now. But i thinks this will be ok with me since i never draw any attention to her. This week, i used hours looking at her from the back of the lecture hall just to console myself that she will realized that i will treat her very nice more than i can do to anyone around me but she just don't let me to show that how much i care about her and the other reason is that we will be skipped 3 months for industrial training and most likely i wont be seeing her for that long and i afraid that i will forget how she look within this period. Yesterday i told myself that i don't want to staring her from the back anymore if i really still want her mine i should talk to her whenever i like and wont ever avoid eye contact with her....yes, no more chicken here! Just go for it you got nothing to lose anymore yongjian! Althogh she told me that i am not the type she want but how could a girl ever tell u she might give u a chance before if she hated you so much. I think there is still a reason. I just want to figure out! So far i had been wating so long and now i really don't even have any interest towards other girls around me. I think i in trouble since the idea that keep waiting so long for this girl maybe is just an excuse for me to avoid myself get in to a realationship. I not kinda saddism she rejected me two days ago and i felt nothing to it and i just hope that i could do anything for her. Maybe treat her nicer than me myself and audience watever or whoever she is in love with and so so...i just don't mind to be a loser......